Yesterday I posted on my Facebook page:

“Happy Mothers’ Day my Dear Mother. Although you have moved on to a better place, still thinking of you and missing you every day… So many times, phone in hand, thinking of calling you to discuss some philosophical issue and wham, it hits me, I can’t. So many discussions, so much sharing: food, weather, history, art, everyday like “stuff” and some major issue discussions. You are so missed in so many ways… Know I can’t be selfish but wish I could call or we could sit around having coffee and talk again. Love and hugs from here to up there my Dear Mamma!”

And then I posted a few pictures of my beautiful mother.

Today I ponder on her life, her beliefs and growth and how she changed over the years.  I find myself  reflecting and realizing that although definitely a product of her time and her early mothering reflected the old days, how much she continued to grow and change with her beliefs, intelligence, and lifestyle as she grew older and reached her 90s.  A humble and kind woman, she became humbler, more grateful and kinder as she aged.  She had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, learning and knowing things and how the world and its people fit together.  She welcomed all people into her life and just looked around for what needed to be done.  She was never a judgmental woman, she just accepted people as they were and enjoyed their company and what they had to share with her and the world.

And I consider thoughtfully how not everyone can be “that woman.”  Will we all learn to be kinder and nicer people as we grow old and … does it matter who notices our changes instead of those who continue to see us as the people we were years and decades ago without really looking at us and realizing who and what we have become, how we’ve changed as people and what we value and believe.

I find myself today looking more closely at the people I love and trying to see them as they are now and not as they were yesterday or many yesterdays ago.  I find myself trying to be kinder and more understanding and humble.  And reminding myself that what I am is not what I’ve worked for and earned but instead realizing that everything is a gift from God.  I welcome this new day, I hope as a kinder, gentler soul.