Wow, so many enlightening and encouraging posts on Facebook and other sites about changing, peace, tranquility, etc. for 2019. Makes you wish it would continue all year.

Have started on a high note myself. Feeling pumped to stay focused and working on my life… what does that mean? Well to me it is writing, drawing, painting, photography, research, maintaining my healthy lifestyle, reading the right things, watching for goodness, kindness and nurturing my relationships which will all lead to a focused enriched life.

As The Colonel used to say, “You only live once and if you work it right, that’s enough.” So much goodness in that man with a lot of self-destructive tendencies. He gave so much to so many. He adored his children and grand-children. Those of us who married him lost out on all of this however. We took care of him and mainly did his bidding. Nevertheless, I learned a lot about life from him and the way he treated others, what he believed, and how he lived his life with those around him. He knew how to take advantage of those who he could. He knew how to manipulate others as only those with addiction problems know how to do.

I am sad so often when I think of him and our life together which mainly, as with any self absorbed person, was all about him and never about us. It wasn’t lost time as I did learn so much about how I want to be and how I want to live my life.

I also thank God every day that I am content with myself now and realize when others are taking advantage of me. Sometimes, when it is not that important, I just let it happen. Other times, I can set my limits which is a product of what I’ve endured over the years from self-absorbed men.

I am content with who and what I am and the direction I am going. Life isn’t suppose to be a picnic of fun and laughter and no problems. It is a learning experience where we learn, where we grow into who we should be and what we should be believing and doing with our lives. And that’s okay.